Surrender. It’s a word that sounds like giving up… but I believe it is essential to growing through grief. And it’s one of the most beautifully brave gifts we can give ourselves.
When I think of the day I was told my babbling 6-month-old had a terminal disease, I raged and railed. Guttural sobbing and thrashing against reality. It was impossible to process that the sweet honey-scented flesh of my flesh would be taken from my arms. From that day and for the 7 years I was gifted with her, everything shifted and I began to surrender.
I surrendered to courage.
I surrendered to pain.
I surrendered to strength.
I surrendered to vulnerability.
I surrendered to hope.
I surrendered to what is.
I surrendered to love.
So much in life is beyond our control. But we still have the choice in how we respond and in how we evolve in its shadow. Radical surrender allowed me to feel all of the devastation without judgement or fixing. I fought like hell to change what I could – and succeeded in helping to create a life-changing treatment for SMA, giving families today a future together. And, bit by bit, I allowed my cells to absorb what was beyond my control, tenderly holding the truth that I would lose my precious child. When the lows hit, I let it all in with acceptance that they were a tool to allow myself to process the overwhelming. And as the yang to that I allowed myself to feel the exhilarating highs of joy with a fully open heart and pure love ~ and love carried me… even through the impossible.
In this unprecedented moment when life has completely shifted, with so much unknown, surrender is so critical to moving through this period. If we accept what we cannot change and focus on what we can, we begin to stop railing. If we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we see with more empathy. If we nix criticizing ourselves and why all this change is so difficult, we begin to allow our emotions and reactions to be our teacher. And there is so much for us to learn.
Friends, this is hard stuff. We are collectively grieving life as we knew it. Let the big feelings in so you can let the joy in too. We will get through this ~ and we will grow in the process.
NEVER GIVE UP.