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Next Sunday, October 4th, is Gwendolyn’s birthday. She would have turned 8 years old.
Her birthday was like a national holiday in our household. The entire week leading up to it was filled with celebration. We always had a big party at the weekend with family and friends, like last year’s Ice Skating Frozen party with a surprise visit by Princess Elsa, or went away on a special trip, like the fancy L.A. weekend to see Wizard of Oz. Once Gwendolyn entered school, the festivities included all new traditions. She loved wearing the teacher’s paper crown and getting to plan what to bring to school to celebrate with her classmates; last year she chose to give pencils to her friends and pumpkin bread. Then on her actual birthday we always did something extra special, usually something that she had never done before, like visiting the aquarium on her first birthday. And so many of you have helped us celebrate every year by generously sending her gifts or making donations in honor.
Gwendolyn loved her birthday. More than Christmas or Easter or any other special day. And we loved making her feel like the queen of the world.
I’ll be honest, I’ve been anxious about this week since her passing. I knew it would come soon. She was already excitedly talking about her birthday this summer before she passed away. She didn’t have any specific plans yet, but she was so ready to celebrate the big 8. She definitely felt like such an independent 8-year-old already. And she loved her birthday. Oh, she loved her birthday.
I’ve been struggling with what to do now, how to honor her, how to help Eleanora honor her, what to do to help us cope. Because this week is going to be hard. Really, really hard. But, I now know what will feel good. And we need YOUR help!
Gwendolyn was a bookworm. She loved books from the time she was a tiny baby. Reading was an activity that she could do well. It gave her special one-on-one time with whoever was reading with her — and anyone who came over had to read with her! It allowed her to visit far off lands and exposed her to things she didn’t have firsthand experience with. We read to her constantly and loved hearing her giggle at the silly parts and seeing her eyes grow wide at the adventures. She loved going to libraries and having marathon reading sessions at home, stacks and stacks of books next to her and she’d read every single one. At a very early age we could see she was already looking at the words and deciphering them. She was the youngest in her grade, but she was always awarded for her literacy achievements and that made her proud. When Gwendolyn became a big sister, a love of books was on the top of her list of things she wanted to teach Eleanora. At Christmas, Bill took her gift shopping and Gwendolyn was absolutely clear about selecting a tower of little nursery rhyme books for Eleanora and then insisted on reading them to her Christmas morning. Eleanora still loves these books.
After Gwendolyn’s passing the school librarian decided to dedicate a special section of the new library to Gwendolyn (the grand opening will happen soon). Her picture is up on the wall, a big butterfly is hung from the ceiling, and the books she checked out are displayed for the children to read. When the school told us about this lovely honor, we immediately knew we wanted to donate some of Gwendolyn’s favorite books to the collection. We loved the idea that this area would not only honor our incredible child but would also help her friends process her death and hopefully draw strength from her life.
We are now hoping to do this for others, including Eleanora.
We know Eleanora will always know Gwendolyn — but we worry. She is so young, only 18-months when Gwendolyn passed away. We want to give her a tangible way to remember all parts of Gwendolyn, not just the SMA portion that took her life. We want her to know her sister was silly, a dare-devil, imaginative. We want her to know about Gwendolyn’s stubborn side, her determination, and courage; her patience and trust in others. We want her to know that she loved giving back and helping others. We want her to know Gwendolyn was a social butterfly and loved being one of the kids; that she was thoughtful and kind and was always a good friend. We want her to know she loved princesses and dancing and running and the color purple. We want her to know that being disabled doesn’t change any of that — for anyone. We want her to know that Gwendolyn loved being a big sister, her big sister.
So, to honor Gwendolyn’s birthday we are asking you to once again help us celebrate by sending a book that reminds you of our Miss G so we can build Eleanora a special library about Gwendolyn. It can be a book she will read now or in the future. It can be one you love or one that you just discovered. It can be filled with life lessons or just silliness. And we’d really love if you would share why you selected the book so Eleanora can learn about how others felt about Gwendolyn.
We would also like to give these books to others in need: newly diagnosed families, those who have recently lost a child, or families going through a hard time. If there are any duplicate books, we will set aside one for this purpose. Or if you’d like to send two copies, we can begin our “Books for Gwendolyn” collection to send to others. Your gifts will give us a way to continue to honor Gwendolyn’s birthday and help others know what an amazing person she was.
From your thoughtful outreach, we know we are not alone in missing our amazing child. And we know many of you are grieving too. We also hope this project gives you and/or your child a tangible thing to do, to remember her, to celebrate Gwendolyn’s sparkle.
Please mail to:
Gwendolyn Strong Foundation
27 W. Anapamu Street, Suite 177
Santa Barbara, California 93101
For Washington Elementary families: you can drop off books at Miss Weirum’s classroom in KC.
Please be sure to include your address so we can send you an acknowledgement.
If you’d prefer to make a tax-deductible donation in Gwendolyn’s honor that is much appreciated too. Gwendolyn Memorial Fund >> GwendolynFund.com
Thank you for your support and your incredible generosity over these last 8 years. Thank you for loving Gwendolyn! Thank you for helping us now honor her legacy.